Not Perfect Equals No Good

Sometimes, when young people are exploring their identities and the way they present themselves to the world, they realize that they've gotten locked into the belief that they need to be perfect. They discover that they've been thinking in black and white. If they're not pretty enough, they're ugly. If they're too fat, too thin, or don't have the right clothes, they're worthless. They have to look good all the time or they'll be called out as losers.

When they explore what's motivating this obsession with being perfect, they often discover that it's fear. They're afraid their peers will judge them by their flaws - and often they're right.

What's perfection costing them? People who get onto the "perfect" track avoid situations that could expose them when they're looking less than perfect. They forget that when people are doing something for the first time, they're probably not going to do it perfectly - and they're going to look a little awkward while they're learning to do it. But since many are afraid of looking uncool, they shy away from trying anything new.

The bottom line is when teens obsess about perfection, they're focusing on things that have nothing to do with who they really are. When they realize that the unique, complex, terrific person inside them isn't getting a chance to be known, appreciated, or developed, they begin to look at their fear of social situations differently.

Much of the content of this website is excerpted from the book The Seven Biggest Teen Problems And How To Turn Them Into Strengths - Copyright © 2006 by Bobbi DePorter. All rights reserved. No part of the content of the website may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. SuperCamp®, Quantum Learning® and Learning Forum® are registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark office.