All Yours: The Power to Reframe It

Teens find there's power just in getting a handle on how they feel about a painful situation. Just understanding what's going on inside brings a little bit of peace. But the real transformation takes place when they take charge of the way they respond to what's happened.

As they work through their feelings about traumatic events in their lives, they discover that they've made choices along the way. Some ways of responding to an event diminished them. Some made them stronger. Which responses they chose were up tothem. When they come to this realization they discover that in the future they can choose responses that have a better outcome. When it comes to their responses to an event, the power is all theirs.

Once we had a teen who made a bad choice while he was in the program. He blamed his behavior on the fact that his parents were divorcing. We explained to him that no matter what was going on with his parents, his behavior was still his own choice. He came to see that he could control his emotions. He could move himself up to a better place - and even take other people up with him sometimes.

The principle behind this idea is Ownership, one of the most powerful of the 8 Keys of Excellence. Taking Ownership means taking responsibility for your actions. Campers really understand this key when they think of it in terms of "pride of ownership," the way they felt about the first special thing they owned. When they realize they can feel that same pride of ownership about their behavior, their whole attitude changes. Owning their actions puts them in control. It allows them to move their lives in the direction they choose instead of being a passive recipient of someone else's choices. When they take ownership, they're in control.

Ownership becomes an even more powerful tool during tough times. Taking ownership of the way a traumatic event affects them means they have a choice in a situation that seems otherwise out of their control.

What choices do they have? During our programs teens play the Ownership Game to learn more about the kinds of choices they make every day. In any given situation, everybody chooses behavior that's either Above the Line or Below the Line. Whenever they're making excuses, laying blame, justifying, or giving up, they're playing Below the Line. When they take responsibility, look for solutions, or follow through on plans, they're playing Above the Line. They learn that playing Below the Line brings penalties like powerlessness, lack of trust, and loss of freedom. Playing Above the Line brings rewards like freedom, trust, respect, and success.

Campers who play the Ownership Game make a breakthrough discovery. Even in the most traumatic circumstances, when their lives seem to be in chaos, they still have control over one thing: They can still decide how they're going to respond!

Much of the content of this website is excerpted from the book The Seven Biggest Teen Problems And How To Turn Them Into Strengths - Copyright © 2006 by Bobbi DePorter. All rights reserved. No part of the content of the website may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. SuperCamp®, Quantum Learning® and Learning Forum® are registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark office.